Faith

I have to preface this post by saying that I took this from a letter I just wrote my sister. I have been wanting to update my blog, but of course am too busy. So I did a little copy and paste action to save myself some time.

My life has been a bit overwhelming lately. I have been completely wrapped up in getting my house ready to sell. It has made me a bit crazy. I am not doing so hot at my responsibilities as a wife and mother. In fact I keep thinking about a conference talk by Elder Pearson http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1032-13,00.html about faith and fear and how they can not coexist and I feel like my actions are contradicting my beliefs. With all of my heart I believe that the Lord knows how to sell a house and if I rely on Him it will happen when it is supposed to. I am, on the other hand, completely consumed with making every possible effort to make my house appealing so that whoever walks into my home will want it because it is so amazingly clean and organized and decorated. After a couple of very humbling experiences, I realize that exercising the faith that I have means that I need to move forward with my life as normally as possible. I can not neglect my responsibilities as a mom and a wife just because someone may call at any moment to see the house. I have to be the best mom I can be. I have to love and appreciate and spend time with my kids and husband and trust that the right family will come along at the right time and want to buy the house because of its qualities, not because it is the cleanest, most organized house they have ever seen. So today I have been focused a little more on that. I let the boys play with all of our tiny Lego's this morning. They were spilled all over the floor, but I didn’t care. I just played with them, while doing a little bit here and there on the house. I really don’t want my boys to look back at this time of their lives as the time that mom was really mean. I don’t want this transition to even faze them. They deserve a happy/sane mom. And so I am trying to ignore the fact that there is toothpaste splatter on the bathroom mirror, and crumbs all over the kitchen floor, and my windows still need to be washed. Today I am happy because I am relaxed and loving my kids. Now if I can just figure out what to make for dinner.